“my memories seem more schematic than ever, more like summaries than records of perception”
Using the Internet a great deal gives me, over time, the sense that I am rarely or never focusing my eyes in the real world: I am either looking at a screen, or my eyes are just a bit defocused, inattentive. I do not notice textures, colors, details in my environment; I take things in categorically, rather than as they are: jacket (not the details of the jacket); table (not what’s on it).
It is especially notable in its effect on memory: my memories seem more schematic than ever, more like summaries than records of perception. This seems like the habituated result of lots of textual Internet living. I note what happens, but as a tag or a description, not as actual sensory data. I mean: I’m not seeing, not looking. My eyes aren’t targeting anything; my life is in my mind, and its blurry and unmemorable.
I was worrying about basically this the other day, but I couldn’t figure out how to explain what it was. It was this.
Then I got sidetracked thinking about how clearly and easily I find it is to exist now WITHIN the computer (and my own mind), which is what I do for the bulk of my day, most days, and I convinced myself that that was somehow a good or okay thing.