A cartoon depiction of the author, wearing a hoodie and smiling motd.co

"my memories seem more schematic than ever, more like summaries than records of perception"

"my memories seem more schematic than ever, more like summaries than records of perception"

Mills:

Using the Internet a great deal gives me, over time, the sense that I am rarely or never focusing my eyes in the real world: I am either looking at a screen, or my eyes are just a bit defocused, inattentive. I do not notice textures, colors, details in my environment; I take things in categorically, rather than as they are: jacket (not the details of the jacket); table (not what’s on it).

It is especially notable in its effect on memory: my memories seem more schematic than ever, more like summaries than records of perception. This seems like the habituated result of lots of textual Internet living. I note what happens, but as a tag or a description, not as actual sensory data. I mean: I’m not seeing, not looking. My eyes aren’t targeting anything; my life is in my mind, and its blurry and unmemorable.

I was worrying about basically this the other day, but I couldn’t figure out how to explain what it was. It was this.

Then I got sidetracked thinking about how clearly and easily I find it is to exist now WITHIN the computer (and my own mind), which is what I do for the bulk of my day, most days, and I convinced myself that that was somehow a good or okay thing.