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Things That Happen To Me When Twitter Is Down, Part 1

I get on the elevator of our fancy office building at about 9:05 AM with an Asian woman in her 50s dressed in a business suit. She is carrying a White Castle “Crave Case”, a cardboard box full of tiny cheeseburgers, which is weird enough in and of itself. Halfway up the elevator ride, I realize she smells EXTREMELY strongly of alcohol.